Ryan Florence-Reinents, It was the A grade fines show down at Goolwa, We started with a round of golf at South Lakes were the lads enjoyed beers and laughs.We then went back to the slattery's for festivities which included a blackjack and ping pong championship. The blackjack tournament was held on a real, crown casino official black jack table. complete with foot resting bar and leather trimmings. Casey ran an impeccable dealing show.
 
The ping pong championship turned into a drinking game with certain obstacles and drinks placed on the table that needed to be sculled if the ball hit the objects. In short, all the lads were wasted by 4am. None more so than watto who had puked his guts up about 3 times during the night and was a true victim of the ping pong drinking game.
 
But the actual kanga nomination must go to Florey, who at about 4.30am in the morning, stumbled out the front door, swag in hand and picked what he thought was a suitable place on the lawn to roll out. with great difficulty, florey managed to get into the swag after falling over a few times. Del had also laid out in his swag just next to florey.
 
in the morning, his front lawn parnter, Del, was no where to be seen. ""Del where are you"" Florey groaned with a dirty hangover. ""i'm down here mate i didnt want to sleep in Watto's spew"". Shocked, florey quickly surveyed the situation and discovered that he had slept right in the middle of watto's masticated pizza and drinks from the night previously. no wonder the front lawn smelt so bad. literally with the spew 10cms from Florey's head, he decided to drag the swag down the lawn. But the damage was done, the swag was now covered in spew.
 
Further, Del and Florey also managed to pick the only spot on the lawn right next to the septic tank overflow upright, i.e. they had to smell everyone elses crap all night. The stench was terrible.
 
Mojo, It was The night of the black block.The A grade was putting in a fine display of drinking, and beating all the other teams at the challenges. Anyway, Mojo started the night telling me that he had booked a surprise flight to Sydney in the morning to visit his girlfriend Abhi for her birthday the following day. I told Mojo that he would be able to leave around 2am, get some sleep and then fly out at 6am to the waiting arms of his missus.
 
At about 2am, Mojo was downing his 6th Jager bomb and just starting to tick over. Mojo, Harro, Slats and I got refused entry at the Rocket Bar due to some loud offensive behaviour of our adopted pom, so we decided to head back to Super Mild for a few martinis. When we got there, Slats had disappeared. Apparently he burnt us and went into the Rocket Bar anyway....bad bloke.
 
So I bought harro and mojo two of the driest martinis money can buy. Turns out that it was harro's first ever martini. He didn’t like it too much. So Mojo (at this point absolutely smashed), grabbed the 3/4s full glass and downed it in one hit (about 3 shots of vodka). Needless to say from this point on, Mojo confesses that he cannot remember much.
 
At around 4am mojo started arguing with me about needing to go home and shower and sleep so he could go to Sydney at 6am. In the infinite wisdom of Beef at 4am in the morning after 20 vodka sodas, I assured him that if he went home he would pass out and miss his flight. convinced, mojo decided to stay out for the rest of the time, and go straight to the airport from the club, no shower, no clothes, no nothing.
 
At about 5am I pushed Mojo into a cab who was having trouble pronouncing the word ""airport"", and he drove off.Turns out, he got to the airport smelling of booze and smokes and fooled the desk people into giving him a ticket and that he wasnt drunk. he then proceeded to buy a new t-shirt at the coopers shop for a bargain $60 and bin his other shirt that smelled like vomit (because he spewed in the cab on the way to the airport). On the plane the person next to him complained of the smell.
 
finally he got to sydney and he was forced to buy a cheap $150 jumper from the cheap priced billabong airport shop. he then arrived on Abhi's doorstep, drunk, stinking of booze, cigarettes and Kenyan BO (which is BAD) and said ""phappy biffday"".
 
he then had a shower, and fell asleep on the couch for the rest of the day. happy birthday indeed. Mojo said Abhi wanted him to take her out for lunch but he was too hung, so she had to buy her own birthday lunch. he also said that she wanted s#x, but he again refused on account of being too hung over.
 
so what turned out being a great $100 return plane trip for a birthday, ended up being a $300 plus debacle. nice one mojo.submitted by Beef
  
Zaheer Aleem,  With 10 overs to go in an LOA game early in the season, Mercedes needed less than a run a ball with wickets in hand. Having been well beaten by the same team the previous week, 10 of the Uni players were keen not to let this chance to win slip by. The 11th was Zaheer Aleem and he was fielding as a sweeper on the western side of the ground.
 
When an elderly man asked Zaheer to help him remove a soft esky that had become fastened to his clothing somewhere on his waist, the catholic education kicked in and Zaheer couldn’t say no. For several overs, Zaheer ran off the ground after each ball, tugged at the man’s pants and then ran back onto the ground as the bowler was running in.
 
History records that Uni won the game on the last ball by 3 runs but it should also record that Zaheer was unable to free the man from his esky and had to call in a passing security guard to finish the job. So, for fondling an old man rather than helping to win the closest game of the year, Zaheer Aleem is nominated for a Kanga Award.
 
The footnote to the story is that Zaheer has since moved to Canberra and now has his sights on fondling a more famous senior gentleman who likes to walk around parks first thing in the morning.
 
James Beare,  Having been dismissed second ball of the game for a duck, wicket-keeper batsman and father of 2, James Beare thought he would try out his new, whiz-bang digital SLR camera. After an hour or so of shooting, the boys became curious about whether this shot or that dismissal had been recorded for posterity and asked to been shown through the snaps.
 
Sure there were a few nice photos of cover drives and a good one of Lachie Coleman being bowled but overwhelming the shots were of a more voyeuristic nature. Now, those who have played at either of the Park 10 grounds will know that there is some consolation for early dismissals or fielding on the boundary on a hot day that comes in the form of young women in short skirts running around the adjacent lawn tennis courts.
 
James Beare had in fact spent most of his time taking consolation by photographing budding Sharapova’s picking up balls or stretching for smashes. The fact that all of the photos were taken from behind the grandstand with cyclone wire fencing in the foreground contributed to the sleazy look.  For taking paparazzi photos of women rather than recording the graceful forms of his fellow LOA cricketers, James Beare is nominated for a Kanga.
        
Michael Case, What is said in committee meetings usually stays in committee meetings but on this occasion, it is appropriate that protocol be ignored to expose one of the oddest money-making suggestions ever heard in the University Long Room.
 
Tireless worker for the Uni cause, Michael Case was racking his brains to come up with something more original for the annual A grade 20-20 game to be held prior to the start of the Tour Down Under in January this year. A sausage sizzle and a drinks van had been organised but Casey had bigger plans.
 
If you’ve ever tried to get a park to watch the bike race, you’ll know that it’s very difficult to get close. In fact, each year Uni busses in its opposition to play the game rather than let them deal with the dearth of car spaces. Casey put 2 and 2 together and came up with 5. His idea was to usher spectators’ cars onto the sacred grassed surface as soon as the final ball was bowled, charge five bucks a go and laugh all the way to the bank.
 
Aside from the fact that the bike race would have to be stopped each time a car wanted to traverse the track to get to the car park, Casey seemed to have forgotten the $82 fine that the Council would gleefully dish out for each offending vehicle parked on the parklands. “Well, we wouldn’t have to pay the fine, would we,” responded our nascent entrepreneur, “it would be up to the drivers”. For proposing the University number 1 car park and suggesting that the punters pay an equivalent of $87 for their spaces, Michael Case is nominated for a Kanga
 
David Kirkwood, Dude, Where's My Car' starring Dave Kirkwood.Playing at Port Adelaide in the Ds David was named in the squad in Saturday's paper. TP fortunately won the toss and elected to bat, and one o'clock came around and still no sign of Dave. I had to ring my parents to find the old school phone book from 10 years earlier to look up Dave's home number as no one had his mobile.
 
Turns out he'd been out on the piss all night, got back home that morning, left his car at a mates north of Adelaide, and left his keys at a mate's near the city, and had no idea he was selected to play. I told he we would be short and he had to play and that this was men's cricket and no one cared if he was still pissed and to get to the ground as he was expected to play and make some runs.
 
He arrived under the weather at the ground just before tea in time for our collapse after tea. He did pad up and reached double figures but was one of the 6 wickets we lost in quick succession. Not to worry as when we hit the field, the fourth ball of the innings TP's belted a short one in outside of stump that the Port Adelaide opener's had a wild dip at. he connected pretty well and found the gap fairly nicely between gully and point, only Kirkers is fielding at point and dives to his left (non preferred hand I might add), and takes the catch with his hand wedging under the ball instead of it hitting the ground.
 
For a man who's been up all night drinking for 12 hours with 5 hours sleep under his belt and trek across Adelaide to find his car, regardless, it is one of the greatest catches I've ever seen in any form of cricket. At least if we know if Dave were ever to have played for Australia in a certain Adelaide test and be fielding at second slip on the final morning, he surely wouldn't grass a Fleming hatrick ball."   
  
Dr Arulnesan Maheswaran, A portly gentleman from the subcontinent who had come to adelaide uni in the mathematics department. He arrived at training one night in brand new whites, sporting a headband, using new cricket gear and his own ball. He proceeded to put on his new gear and march straight into the A Grade Net. After he has faced several balls and narrowly escaped death he was politely shuffeled into the lower grade nets. He was even worse with the ball and was picked to play in the bottom side. At the first drinks break during the game he go into a taxi and left. At training the following week he was very animated and as explaination for his disappearance informed club captain Gary Hayes "It is either A grade of B grade or not at all" Looks like its not at all then retorted Hayesy. Several weeks later he returned to training with three video crew, who filmed him bowling, batting ad fielding. Shortly afterward a half page ad appeared in the Advertiser featuring his photos and was headed "Achievment of Excellence".

Matt McKinley , Night 1: Met a lovely young girl who showed me the sights of Melbourne. I woke up in the outer suburbs. I had know idea where I was, and how I had got there. It took me 2 trams and 1.5 hours to get back into town. Day 2, Game 1: Bowled middle stump by Kim Wyles for a duck. Night 2: Cardinals. It took me 23 attempts. I succeeded on the last attempt I was allowed. I cant remember anything after about ten oclock. I woke up the next morning with a huge cut on my knee, a different shirt on, ripped jeans and was covered in vomit. Day 3, Game two: Scored 32 in a 65 run partnership with Andy Delmont. Night 3: We were all singing Karaoke downstairs in the Bar at the Backpackers hostel. I met a fair maiden from England. Went back to her room, because I thought my room was too far away, and spent the rest of the night discussing the pros and cons of globalisation. Left her room in the morning, only to realise that her room was right next to mine. What a trip. A fantastic time.

Joey Edison, The first Kanga was back when Bishen Bedi was captain of the Indian team and looking for fast bowlers. Along comes Joey Edison from AUCC. A slow medium pace pie chucker of subcontinental background from with that uncanny Indian knack of grossly overestimating the true speed with which he delivered a cricket ball. Bished Bendi's phone rang at the team hotel. The voice at the other end sounded decidedly subcontinental. "I bowl fast. Faster than Dennis Lillee" said the voice. Bendi promptly asked the mystery caller to come immediately to the Adelaide Oval nets to test out his batsmen. Opening batsman Chetan Chauhan tentatively took his guard against a young man who had marked out a runup reaching nearly to the boundary fence. The young man began his approach did a Kangaroo leap before delivery the ball. Chauhan, after sensing the ball was not going to explode off the pitch into his body, smote the ball back over the bowler's head and over the boundary fence from whence he had commenced.